You are More

Everyone in the world finds their identity in something. They may be defined by their talents, their religion, their lover, or their family. Or they may be defined by their mistakes. I think that Christians feel this most poignantly. Being defined by our mistakes bogs us down and makes us of no use for the kingdom.

I had been struggling recently because I thought that I was messing up in every area of my life, from family to ministry to academics to my relationships with God and others. Every sin I committed and every mistake I made became another log that I threw on the fire in which I was burning myself. I began to feel unworthy of all God had done for me. Instead of worshiping Jesus for saving me in my unworthy state, I allowed it to keep me from a good relationship with God. I did not have consistent quiet times, and the ones I did were laced with a feeling of guilt and dread. I've experienced what it's like to pour into someone and get nothing in return. I realized I was doing the same thing to God. That was another log on my fire. I thought I would never come free from this cycle of misery.

Recognizing that this pattern I was in was not healthy for my life or my relationship with Christ, I tried to fix it on my own. I laid down a list of rules to help fix things, but it only got worse. I could not forgive myself, even though God had forgiven me.

When I was at my wit's end, I felt led to turn the radio on. "You are More" by Tenth Avenue North was playing. I had never actually listened to the words before.

There's a girl in the corner 
With tear stains on her eyes 
From the places she's wandered 
And the shame she can't hide 

She says, "How did I get here? 
I'm not who I once was. 
And I'm crippled by the fear 
That I've fallen too far to love" 

But don't you know who you are, 
What's been done for you? 
Yeah don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

Well she tries to believe it 
That she's been given new life 
But she can't shake the feeling 
That it's not true tonight 

She knows all the answers 
And she's rehearsed all the lines 
And so she'll try to do better 
But then she's too weak to try 

But don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

'Cause this is not about what you've done, 
But what's been done for you. 
This is not about where you've been, 
But where your brokenness brings you to 

This is not about what you feel, 
But what He felt to forgive you, 
And what He felt to make you loved. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You've been remade 
You've been remade. 
You've been remade. 
You've been remade.

These words pierced me to my heart. I realized that I am more than what I've done. I am God's, through no merit of my own, and that is comforting. It does not give me permission to go mess up. In fact, it makes me want to (in Christ's strength) go fight my sin. But it does help me when I mess up to realize that I am forgiven, and I can move on. I need to stop living life action to action. I worry and fret about the things I do, when I should be deriving peace from who I am in Christ. 

I would like to add two more things. First, this truth makes me realize that I need to forgive others the way I have been forgiven. Second, I would like to urge you all to not let your sins bog you down, but to realize you are forgiven and to live life through God's grace. Who we are is not defined by the mistakes we've made but by the Savior to whom we belong.